“Can there ever be the good divorce? A laying down of arms. Sanguine recognition that not all divorce is failure. Simply some marriages are finite. Why do we place so much weight on the idea that things must last?
—The Split
Surely what constitutes a successful relationship is knowing when it is over. Being brave enough to call time. The desire of two people who have spent their lives together, good lives together, who are not willing to throw it all away for a few months of pain.
Isn’t that what also constitutes a good divorce? One where memories are left to exist untainted, where children are guided through the storm, where two people can say we did it well, we took care of one another even if the marriage is no more.
Be brave. Don’t be afraid. Who knows what you might find on the other side?”
So begins the final episode of the final season of The Split, a British drama that explores the concept of a “good divorce.” As a divorce lawyer, I tend to avoid television shows that focus on divorce, often because many shows try to find humor in divorce, or try to make this incredibly complex process ‘simple.’ As our divorce and family law clients know too well, this process is never simple. But The Split, in its emotionally poignant, relatable, and touching way, demonstrates that there can be a “good divorce.”
What a “good divorce” means is open to interpretation. On The Split, we follow the lives of a beautiful, loving, intact couple who, through a series of life transitions over the three few seasons, find their marriage fractured. We share in the characters’ love, their confusion, their regret, their confidence, their fear, and their transformation. Some days, we want them to reconcile; others, we want them to leave. Anyone grappling with the decision whether to divorce, or whether to leave a partner, knows the repeating cycle of the painful back-and-forth only too well. As viewers of The Split, we share in their confusion and their disappointment.
I recommend this beautiful show for anyone contemplating divorce or anyone who has been through a divorce. I recommend this show to fellow divorce lawyers who strive to offer clients a “good divorce.” I recommend this show to anyone searching for the definition of a “good divorce,” or striving to design a “good divorce” for themselves and their children.
“Be brave. Don’t be afraid. Who knows what you might find on the other side?”
—The Split